Looking at the surface

Thursday 19Mar09 – Montel Williams, a talk-show host, was on Oprah while Val was watching the other day. He has multiple sclerosis, and it hurts him a lot. A comment that Oprah made was to the effect that ‘you don’t seem to be in pain or suffering too much, so you must be OK.’ He then said that he wasn’t OK, and that he had attempted suicide once by throwing himself in front of a car, and had at one time 5 guns sitting in front of him while he tried to decide which of them would make the smallest hole.

   I went to take a shower, and the hymn ‘Savior, May I Learn to Love Thee’ came to my mind: specifically the verse ‘Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see...’ That is so true that often we don’t know what other people are going through: we see the exterior and judge accordingly, forgetting that the superficial is only a small percentage of what is really happening.

   3Ne6 – The people of Lehi basically fall away from the truth again, and Satan inspires them to start up the secret combinations so that they may subvert the laws and justice of the land. It seems that this rebellion comes about due to the amount of learning that a person had, how much $ they had, and what their status/standing was in the community.

   Is education that conducive to pride: I get some knowledge and therefore think I no longer need the Lord? Obviously yes, since I have leaned and depended so much on my own strength in the past. But these knowledgeable, prideful people persecuted the more humble part of the believers because they were seen as inferior...I suppose I see some other people as inferior to myself, which is a bad thing. All are equal in the sight of God. There is no Animal Farm complex here- none are more equal than others. Winos, homeless people, even the proud are no better or worse than I am. They are just in a different situation than the one I am in.

 

I told you so!

Tuesday 10Mar09 – 3Ne1 – Why is it that wicked people, or even those who don’t believe, rejoice and are happy when they try to destroy the faith of believers? The Nephites were almost gleeful, prancing about those who were looking forward to the sign of Christ’s birth, because they thought the time had passed and nothing had happened. I can see it in my mind: ‘<Nelson>HA,Ha!</Nelson>You were wro-ong! What you believed in didn’t happen! You’re so stu-pid! We’re going to kill you!’ The obvious answer to the question ‘Does pride make this desire to prove others wrong happen?’ is yes. Why do they enjoy it so much? Does it give so much satisfaction to say ‘I told you so’ to someone?

   ‘Even with the great ability that he had, Jesus did nothing of himself. His whole effort was to do the Father’s will. All that he did, all that he spoke was given of the Father. If Jesus found it necessary to draw his course of action from God, how much more so do we have a need to be dependent upon the Father to determine the course of our lives in every detail! Those who would follow Christ cannot subscribe to the slogan “I did it my way.”’ (E. Richard Packham, Born of the Spirit, p.37) I hadn’t realized that the complete surrender of self comes because of an exercise of faith, and is a gift from the Father. I must desire the gift and exercise my agency in order to ask for it and act in accordance to get it, but it must come from God first.

 

On trust and faith...

Wednesday 4Mar09 – Helaman12.6 – ‘Behold, they do not desire that  the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.’ OK, I am just as guilty of this as anyone else, but this has to be the definition of either insanity or stupidity, or both. A fundamental desire of humanity is to know what is to come, even if it is 2 minutes into the future. Another fundamental drive is knowledge. If anyone is capable of knowing what is to come, or has knowledge to impart, it is God the Father and His Son. Why would a person not trust the Lord to guide them? Sure, maybe doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing to do, and trusting can sometimes be difficult, but if I can have trust in any person, wouldn’t trusting the Lord be the best person? He can’t fail! He always does what He says He will do. He always cares for His children, and wants to guide and help them. All we/I have to do is trust Him, and do what He asks. Under the circumstances, why would I rely upon my own strength when I can’t even know if I’m going to make it home from work OK? I have no prescience, no foreknowledge, and I am constantly learning that I have an abysmal lack of knowledge that my humility compels me to admit to.

 

On generosity...

Tuesday 3Mar09 – An epiphany from last week: In Mosiah 4 (16-25) it talks about how we are supposed to give of our means if we have it. If we don’t, are our hearts willing to do so if we had the means? v.16 talks about the beggar putting up his petition in vain, that he perishes. Notice that the scripture doesn’t say anything about approving of what the $ is going to, but that we are to give, regardless of the circumstance. People may ask me for $. If I have it to give, I will give it. The requirement is more for the giver than the receiver: I become holier as I divest myself of selfishness and judging of others. OK, so he’s going to buy liquor with it. He will make his choice, and I will make mine. She’ll put the $ I give her to poor use because she can’t manage it. That’s fine also. It is better for me to give what I can than it is for them to receive it. I am only asked to give up part of what isn’t really mine anyway: the means that God has blessed me with. Isn’t it all His anyway? Besides, how can God be merciful with me if I put pre-conditions on how, what and why I will give, and still be merciless?

   Helaman 10-11 – Men are so quick to do evil, and extremely fast to return to their old, sinful habits. How long does the nuke-of-destruction have to hover over me before I wise up and repent? How long will God be merciful with me and give me time to shape up?

 

On the quickness of change...

Monday 2Mar09 – Reading Helaman 8-9 with Val today, I commented on how short of a time it took the previously righteous Nephites to allow themselves to be seduced by the Gadiantons: I think it was 3 or 4 years. Val brought up a good point: 1 year is 365 days, which is a lot. Lots of things can happen in a day, let alone 1095 or 1461 days (3-4 years). I realized that righteousness depends on deciding every day, both mentally and by the things I do, whom I will serve and follow. Some days I do better than others, and some days I don’t do well at all. Repentance can help me on the days that I stray to put me back on the path. Repentance isn’t something to be avoided, but the bad decisions I make, thus necessitating the repentance, are. Self-honesty and self-introspection are eternally necessary principles in order to not stray.

   The questions ‘Why do I make the decisions I do?’ and ‘What motivates me?’ are probably the most important questions I can ever ask myself. If I go through life never, or even rarely, evaluating my actions, I will inevitably fail to gain the celestial reward. As Pres. Uchtdorf has taught, we have to be on the right course, and corrections are always necessary. If I ever come to the point that I say I don’t need to change myself anymore, that I am just fine how I am now, then pride has taken over me and I am perilously close to failure. Humility allows one to inspect one’s self honestly and frequently, and to decide what to do next in order to progress. Humility also allows one to realize that a correction is always necessary, and to ask for Help in effecting that change.