I am special. I am special. Look at me...

An interesting study that I happen to agree with.

The study states that college students today are more self-centered than past generations, due to permissive parenting and the 'self-esteem' movement.

Yes, I am special. But, I don't deserve everything I want, and I don't always get all the things I want.

And I'm OK with that.

9 ways to help your heart...

are found here.

But, may I make a few...changes? I'm gonna make some anyway.

#1 Don't eat any dairy products at all. I don't understand how more can be better than none at all.

#2 is good, but maybe get out and take a brisk walk instead. Lots of fresh air is good for you...

#3 Instead of fish, try eating spinach salad with flax oil. 1 Tbsp of flax oil has more omega- 3,6,9 acids than fish does, and without the mercury. Here is where we get our flax oil : Barleans.com

#4 Pomegranate juice is great, and tates good too. Use sparingly, as it is a bit pricey, unless you can afford to guzzle it.

#5 Low salt soy sauces are good, but try a product called Braggs(liquid aminos), which isn't a soy product, but tastes like one. It's relatively low salt also.

#6 Laugh it up, fuzzball.

#7 Sleep is always good. Make time so you can get at least 8 hours. I find I do well on at least that much, but not more than 10 hours.

#8 & #9 Should be done anyway, but controlling your breathing sounds a bit difficult, especially for 10 minutes....um, I guess you go for it, if you have 10 uninterrupted minutes to concentrate on your breathing.

My weekend...

...was fun. Val and I went sledding on Friday, since I had the day off. Lots of snow, and lots of fun. There was about 1.5 feet of snow, and this was after it had stopped snowing for a few hours. And thus, we were really glad that we had snow-bibs and good boots to go have fun in.

I wiped out a couple of times, one time really hard. But we had lots of fun anyway.

How was your weekend?

"Guns don't kill poeple. I do."

All of this I'm about to post comes from the Penny Arcade website. You can go there for the unedited version. The only editing I did was change the f-word a couple of times

Here is what I wanted to post, and I quote Gabe:

"Yesterday I made a post about the teenagers that murdered the homeless guy and then blamed it on violent games. These kids have given the media their angle and just like all the other cases where games are mentioned no one will ever look any further. No one will ask what their family life was like, what their parents were like, what the kid was like before all this happened. Games did it and that’s the end of the story.

In my post I took the absolute extreme opposite approach. I laid blame completely on the parents and that was intentional. Penny Arcade is a satire site and people come here to laugh or get angry and that’s what we try to provide. I will admit that deep down as the father of a two year old I also want to believe that I as a parent can shape my kid into a decent human being. If I don’t believe that then…well I just have to believe that right now.
With that said I’m perfectly aware that the reality of the situation was somewhere between the two extremes. I know full well that violent games did not create this killer and I also know that his parents did not make him a murderer. Nothing outside of a comic strip and a goofy blog is ever that simple.

The sad truth is that the reality we’re talking about here would probably never actually see the light of day. The media will tell the story they want to tell regardless and that story will be about violent games. The parents of these kids will be lucky to get two lines in an article about the crime. If they tell a reporter that their son hardly played games or that he was fucked up long before they bought a Playstation do you really think that will make it into the final article? You’d never see that side of the story, not in a million years.

But you’re about to.

I am about to share with you an email I received from a Penny Arcade reader. She also happens to be involved in this case but obviously she’d like to remain anonymous. She has agreed to let me share her email with all of you and I can’t thank her enough for that. Like I said before, I know why most people come to Penny Arcade. You come every other day looking for a joke and a laugh. What you’re about to read isn’t a joke. It’s an extremely personal email sent by a very brave woman and I’m honored to share it with you.

""Gabe,

Your news post about the kids and the homeless man yesterday made me sick to my stomach, before I even read the CNN article. I knew what it was going to be about before even reading the article. It was not the article itself, or even your post that made me sick, it was the fact that I know this boy. Or, rather that I could be considered one of the “parents” of this boy.
The boy’s father and I have been together for almost seven years, and I had what I guess could be called a “stepmother” relationship with the kid. To say that living with this kid was hell would be a complete understatement.
I don’t think I have ever actively hated anyone in my entire life, but this kid just makes my blood boil.
As I write this, my teeth are clenched, my hands are shaking, and my whole body is seething with the hatred I feel for this kid and what he has done. Seeing the article brings back all the horrible memories from when he lived with us.
He was constantly in trouble in school, with the cops, with us, with his mother, and with anyone else who was an authority figure. Not a week went by that the school or the cops wouldn’t call us for something. His attitude was basically “ f you, I don’t have to listen to you” said with a shrug.
We tried absolutely everything we could think of to get him to behave like a normal human being… we tried groundings, negative reinforcement / punishment, positive reinforcement, counseling, and anything and everything the counselors suggested. We tried to get him interested and involved in extracurricular activities, like hockey, drama, music, art, anything, but he got himself kicked out of every group he was in with his “make me” attitude. When we would ground him, we took away everything. No TV, no computer, no phone, no leaving the house, no snacks or junk food…. Everything. When he was grounded, he was only allowed to sit in his room and read or draw. He was actually a pretty good artist, and we tried to encourage him to spend his time working with his talent. He would just sit there and take it… the groundings had absolutely no affect on him at all. Most of the time, he didn’t even remember why he was being grounded. At the end of it, we would ask him if it was worth it to have everything taken away in exchange for what he did… he usually just shrugged. He could be grounded for weeks, or a month at a time, and then the very next day would do something to get back in trouble again. Most kids get grounded or punished a couple of times, and then they want to avoid having to go through it again… not this kid, nothing seemed to phase him.
And we’re not talking the usual teenager stuff, like coming home late, or refusing to do the dishes. We’re talking stealing cars, setting fires, drinking, getting picked up for drugs, beating up handicapped kids at school (yes, really) stealing things out of our house… all with this “I’ll do whatever the f I want” attitude.
We had absolutely no idea what else we could do. We already had him in counseling, and we did everything the counselors suggested. We tried rewarding his good behavior (what little there was) to try to get him to see that when he behaves like a normal human being, things are good and people enjoy being around him. Nothing phased him at all.

Then, things took an even worse turn when he decided that whenever he didn’t get his way, or we did something he didn’t like, he told his counselors and teachers that we were abusing him. (Never happened.) And for some inexplicable reason, everybody believed him. I understand that child abuse is a very serious situation, and that they have to take every possible case seriously, but this was clearly a case of him manipulating people to get what he wanted. We had people from the school, cops, and social services over at our house or calling us on a weekly basis stating some new abuse that he had made up. At 14, the boy was already 6’3” and over 200 pounds. Of course, there was never a mark on him, because no such abuse ever took place.
One particular night (cops involved, as always) he decided that he didn’t have to listen to anything we said, and that he wasn’t coming home. He went to live with his mother, where things got worse by the day. He stole everything out of her home and sold it. He invited gang-bangers and drug dealers to her home, and she feared for her safety constantly. She called the cops numerous times because she feared for her safety, but again, the boy said that she abused him, and the cops always took his side. (For reference, the mother is about 5’3” and barely clocks in at 115.) He planted a loaded gun in her room, called the cops and told them that it belonged to the mother’s boyfriend. The boyfriend actually ended up serving time because of this f-ng bastard kid. She had two other young children in the house, and the gun and the abuse charges were an intentional plot to get the other two kids taken away from her. She tried restraining orders against the kid, but since he was a minor, they wouldn’t allow it. Every time he got picked up, she pleaded with the cops to take him to jail, maybe that would finally get though to him, but they just kept bringing him home to her. I don’t understand why everyone who was involved with this kid just blindly took this juvenile delinquent’s word over all else!
The night that he and his friends murdered that poor homeless man, the mother said that he was acting particularly cocky. Then he threatened to kill her. We had absolutely no idea of what he had done until they found the man’s body. He was immediately waived into adult court (at 15) and sentenced to 15 years. We were all absolutely sick with grief for this man.

We were also sick with guilt… “What could we have done differently?” was a constant question in all of our heads. After the kid was sentenced, all the cops, counselors, social workers, and people at the school that had been dealing with him contacted us and his mother and apologized for not taking us seriously. They are all trained to take all accusations of child abuse seriously, and as a part of that they blindly took the kid’s side for everything, and dismissed us as “the lying abusers”. Many of them told us that they wished they would have taken our pleas for help seriously. Everyone thought we were exaggerating about how f-ed up this kid was.

I completely agree with your statement of “These kids were twelve kinds of nuts and that’s a fact.” But the reason I am writing this to you is that, after reading your news post yesterday, I felt that I needed to defend the boy’s parents. His mother and father and I did absolutely everything we could think of to try to keep this kid in line. Even the kinds of things that normal teenagers get in trouble for would have been a blessing compared to what we’ve been through with him.

What I gave you today is a very small sampling of the kinds of things we were dealing with every single f-ing day with this kid. When people hear about what he’s done, I can always sense the “I’m sure there was something you could have done” comment coming up. What would you have done? How do you deal with a kid like this? Like I said, we did everything the counselors suggested, and nothing seemed to matter.

If you want to add another element to the “nature vs. nurture” idea, this boy has a brother. Both boys were raised in the same house, with the same values. The brother has developed into a kind, considerate, responsible, and independent young man. He is currently working his butt off right now to save up money to go to school for architecture. The only thing I regret is that we spent so much time and energy dealing with the bad kid that this boy missed out on having a normal family life with a normal sibling relationship.

I am sorry this got so long. I have been reading PA since the very beginning, and I feel that both of you are very much like me. I think we are the same age (29) and I have been a lifelong gamer like the two of you. I can’t stand hearing about the so-called correlation between games and real-life violence. Video games DID NOT make this kid who he was, and it’s unfortunate that the correlation is there.

The thing that really gets me with this whole thing is that the kid knows full well that by equating what he’s done to a video game, that he will generate controversy and media coverage. It makes me sick that the media is jumping all over this, because that is exactly the result that he wants.

The only good thing (if there is such a thing) that has come out of this whole ordeal is that the kid is behind bars. That is exactly where he needs to be.

Again, I’m sorry about the length of this. Thanks for allowing me to “tell my side” of the story. ""

So there you go. There’s the real story. This kid was broken. He’s decided to use videogames as a scapegoat because as crazy as he is, he’s not stupid. He knows exactly what he’s doing. The sad thing is that it will probably work."

I'm not gonna debate this one, since the lady says they tried all they could with this..."kid". It reminds me of the line in UHF where the guy says "Guns don't kill people. I do".

It makes me wonder when this kid apparently gave up his agency in order to be controlled by the demon XBox, or PS3, or that insidious Wii.

What a load of BS. You chose to subject yourself to evil influences, you chose to do things that were wrong , and thus put yourself in Stan's sway. Don't blame others for your own problems, you manipulative little devil.

I hope you like prison. I hope they never let you out.

And yes, I am being extremely unforgiving, but I deplore his actions. I don't know the whole story, and admittedly only one side, but what is he gonna say to defend himself except a cop-out? Stuff like this makes me sick, as I see it as another symptom that society will eventually destroy itself by not holding people responsible. Sure, he is in prison, but what about the lives he has harmed due to his negligence or apathy? What about the life he has taken?

I suppose everyone is entitled to a defense, but why does society seek to blame games, or sex, or drugs, or anything else as the sole reason of a persons behavior? Why can't we say that this person is messed up because of a lot of reasons, but that ultimately the choice was still his to do these despicable things, and thus he should pay for his crimes? Does society just need something to blame, rather than someone?

"It's not his fault that he can't behave. Society's made him go astray. Perhaps, if we're nice, he'll go away."

I'm glad I don't have to be the one to judge him. Some of you will say that I already have, and I disagree. I hate his actions. I'm glad he's out of society and can't destroy anyone elses life. But, I'll let Heavenly Father take care of it.

Workin' nights...

...so I won't post anything substantial tonight.

Sorry.

Mmmmmmmm....sleep......

This is a good article for everyone, not just women.

It's an article denoting some of the mistakes that women (and probably a lot of other people) make where their sleep is concerned.

I read that article, and saw a few things that do make it hard for me to sleep.

I wish I was at home sleeping right now.

The origin of my name...

Mom and dad chose my name out of a book of baby names. It was a "strong sounding name", and couldn't be shortened in any way. It also couldn't be made fun of easily, was not very popular when I was born, and was a nice sounding biblical name. Lots better than a name like Jehazareel or some such.

It seems to be a rather inauspicious origin for a name, especially compared to Val's. But I like my name a lot. And I have my parents to thank.

Thank you for thinking of my welfare, dearest parents.

Eskimo Nebula

"In 1787, astronomer William Herschel discovered the Eskimo Nebula, which from the ground resembles a person's head surrounded by a parka hood. In 2000, the Hubble Space Telescope imaged the nebula that displays gas clouds so complex they are not fully understood. The Eskimo Nebula is clearly a planetary nebula, and the gas seen above composed the outer layers of a sun-like star only 10,000 years ago. The inner filaments visible above are being ejected by strong wind of particles from the central star. The outer disk contains unusual light-year long orange filaments. "

Text and image taken from here.

A wish...

Have a great weekend, everyone.

I'm out.

Happy Valentines Day..

...to my Goo.

I love you, my dearest.

Lots of <3 and kisses to you, my goo.

And a great Valentine's Day to the rest of you.

The inverse power of praise...

This is a long article, but really a good one, in my estimation.

The article talks about the dangers of praising either normal or mediocre behavior repeatedly, and the pitfalls of making things too easy for children.

I thought this was a good article because I don't subscribe to the notion that everyone is equal. I think that everyone has things that they are good at. But just because they aren't good at something doesn't make them stupid, just not as good as someone else is at that particular skill.

Case in point: I failed Algebra in 8th grade. Bombed miserably. Sucked it up. Whatever euphemism you care to say, I did it. But, I tried my hardest. Mom and dad were patient, helped me study, and knew I was trying my hardest. They helped me, and didn't shield me from the consequences (poor grades). They also helped hold me responsible for my actions. The next year I passed with a 104%. I think it was because I was allowed to fail, held responsible for that failure, and was told clearly what the expectations were. Thus, I tried harder. No one told me "It's OK if you don't do well. You can't be good at everything. It must be the teacher's fault you aren't getting it. You're smart, even if you don't get this."

Children need to be held responsible for thier actions, specifically praised for the good things they DO, and not just for doing what is expected. That doesn't mean that we can't thank them for doing the normal things...Just don't make it sound like they have saved the world when all they have done is wash their hands or said "thank you".

I think my responsibility is to encourage my children, when they come, to do their best, even if it is difficult at first. If this entails a little pushing and discomfort, then so be it. I f iot entails an investment of time from em, so be it. Heavenly Father doesn't want us to be mediocre, and setting realistic goals and holding others responsible is all " part and parcel, the whole genie gig. PHENOMENAL, COSMIC POWER..." Sorry. It's all part of the Plan.

Praise behavior that is outside of normal, but thank for normal actions.

Besides, no one really gets anywhere eternally when everything is either easy or they aren't challenged.

I suppose I can understand the desire to shield children from hard things, but at what point does it do them a dis-service, and weaken their desire to learn or get better?

The only way that someone else is equal to me is the love that Heavenly Father has for both of us. Everybody has weaknesses they need to work on. So, let the little ones work through their challenges. Hold them responsible, help them do their best, but don't deprive them of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes/failures.

Again, this is my opinion. Take it or leave it.

Unable to distinguish between reality and fiction...

Hover your mouse over this link and look at what it says down at the bottom of the screen.

"Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. This is my wife Vanessa and my child AutoBot. I work to protect the world from the evil forces of the Decepticons...Or terrorism...Whichever.

It makes no sense.

Of pink puppies...

(no links)

I had a wierd dream this morning that someone had been kidnapped, and I had to find them. Somehow I dreamed that we found a pink puppy, whose name was....Ralph, I think. He had a long, daschund-like body with long hair, long ears, a perky-up tail with long hair, and his head was round, but with short hair. And he was ALL pink. Cutest thing I had ever seen.

He looked kind of like the cute guy up at the top there.

The really wierd part was that I had to put him in a cooler so we could take him along with us. He didn't want to be put in the cooler, so he tried to bite my fingers. But he wasn't strong enough to bite me hard, and just sorta ended up gumming my fingers. I ended up getting him in the cooler with the lid up, and he had lots of fun in there.





















What?

Don't look at me that way...Don't YOU ever have wierd dreams? OK then. Keep your eyes to yourself.

How would it be if...

..you couldn't recognize your own siblings?

Some people have a very hard time remembering what people look like, and thus can't hardly recognize anyone. This is apparently due to a malfunction in the brain. The only way they can recognize a person is by either context/enviornment, or if they have someone else tell them who it is.

That would really suck. I'd say hi to my neighbors, but then be unable to recognize them if I saw them at the store.... And like the lady at the end of the article said, I'd feel bad if someone thought I was being mean, but it wasn't my fault.

Finally...

...a haircut.

I know it's not anything big, but I sure am glad to have it short again.

If I had a camera, I'd post a picture...

*sigh*

Only 2 more months 'til we get one...

A whole lot of nuthin'...

No, really, there hasn't been anything noteworthy goin' on. Sorry.