On dying relatively well...

Wednesday 22Apr09 – Yesterday Val and I had someone from a mortuary come over so we could take time to plan ahead and plan out what caskets we wanted for when we die, what sorts of flowers, the program itself, etc. It was really educational, in many ways. For instance, dying with any sort of dignity is expensive: my choices totaled ~$11k, which is a lot for being dead.

   We looked over casket options, vault options (which are the concrete boxes they put the casket in in the ground), flower choices, favorite songs/hymns, living wills, last wills and testaments, cremation options- you name it, we probably looked at it.

   The great part about this is that we decided on our options, and started putting money towards these inevitable expenses. An insurance company gets the money and saves it for us. When we have paid off our term, our funeral expenses are paid for, and the financial and emotional burden won’t have to fall to a shell-shocked, grieving person who may not have the moolah to pay for all of the services necessary. Even better, the $ will gain interest, and will stay ahead of inflation, so even the flowers will be able to be paid for when the time comes.

   I think the best part is that we were able to make these choices objectively now, instead of leaving it to someone later to have to deal with. This, in my opinion, is the worst thing, besides repentance, to leave until it is too late- I mean, can you imagine the crushing weight of +$11k of services being dropped on your family, who probably can’t pay it anyway? Better to face my own mortality, make the choices now, make the payments, and then be done with it.

   So, it was extremely educational, and helped immensely with our peace of mind. I highly recommend that every person who reads this call up their local mortuary and plan for their future. Those people you leave behind, which there inevitably are, will thank you.

‘Don’t be afraid, but face your fears, that you may become stronger...’

When is love not enough?

Sunday 12Mar09 – At what point is love not enough? Say I decide to start doing things that are either morally wrong, are a bad example, or are not living according to the covenants I have made? Assuming that my spouse, or a concerned party, is trying to live the way they should, is it enough to only say to the person ’I love you’, and then not remind them of the bad things that they are willfully doing, and that you don’t like or approve of it? That seems, to me, to be the weak way out, as you are not really loving them/helping them to do better, but you are only enabling the bad behavior on their part by not reminding them of the things they have promised to do.

   ‘But Jordan’ you’ll surely say, ‘it’s not my place to nag the other person. Everyone knows what they should be doing; I shouldn’t tell someone else what to do. Besides, it’s not my place to remind them of what they should do, as I am imperfect and probably am not doing so hot myself.’ Well, dear friend, you are wrong. Every person, as a child of God, and especially baptized members of the Church, has a made a covenant to do what the Lord would do, if He were here, to help others make correct choices and to help them along the path. This help is to be given with patience, long-suffering and with kindness, but we are not told to let people do what they want, regardless of the consequences. This further assumes that the giver of the aid is willing to accept help in their own sphere. If I feel like I should tell someone I know that I don’t approve of their actions, then I have to be willing to take correction from someone else for myself. Furthermore, men who have been ordained to any office higher than a deacon have the solemn responsibility to watch out for the whole Church, to be Church police-officers of a sort. Pres. Eyring’s talk during the Apr 2009 Priesthood session spelled that out quite clearly. So does the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood. All 3 are excellent reading, and I recommend that you read them-sections 20 & 84.

   The people who say ‘It’s not your place to tell me what to do’ also say that ‘It should be enough for you to say that you love me’ and leave unsaid the ‘Don’t you tell me what to do!’ part. They don’t want to called to repentance, and they assume that those whose calling is to watch out for them, when they sound a warning voice, that those voices do not love them because they try to help them find the correct path.

   Eventually, a person grows beyond the reach-of-influence of their parents, and then is basically on their own. But, are they not to be held responsible ever again? If their path starts to, or has already deviated, from where it is supposed to be (and we all know where we could be), then is no one allowed to tell that person what they think? What if the person has children who are influenced by the behaviors of the parent?

   When is love not enough? Where is the line between letting a person make their own choices, and telling them how you feel about the choices that they are making, and the possible consequences of those actions?

   Saying nothing feels like I don’t really love the person, just that I am afraid of offending them, or that it is not my place to say anything to them (which amounts to the same thing). All of us have the calling to watch out for each other, and to warn, when it is necessary. To be too timid to tell someone of the concern we feel for the direction they are taking does a dis-service.

   Referencing Pres. Eyring’s talk, it is not the bishop’s sole responsibility to warn, but to be a judge. Ours is the calling to watch out for each other, and to help them along. Voicing our concern is not a judgment, but an act of compassion, even if the person we are worried about doesn’t see it that way. If we stand by and watch someone spiral towards destruction and only stand by, wringing our hands with dismay and concern but saying nothing, we will ultimately be held responsible by Jesus, and, most likely, by the one we watched annihilate themselves.

   ‘...persuasion, long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness, and pure knowledge...reproving betimes with sharpness when moved upon by the Holy Ghost, and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be thy enemy; that he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.’ D&C 121.41-44

 

I gave 2 lessons today: 1 in Sunday School about the ‘Gathering of Israel’, and in Priesthood about being ’Valiant in the Cause of Christ’. I thought the lessons were good because of the amount of participation I got. That always seems to help things move along, and I hope people learn more. The best part was that I didn’t feel nervous about either of my lessons.

   3Ne17 – How great would it be to hear Jesus, in person, praying for me, personally? I’m sure that He does so now, but my faith is insufficient to feel the full impact of that prayer.

 

Wednesday 8 Apr09 – I still have too much pride in me: I read scriptures that talk about the pride, lying, deceit, mischief, hypocrisy, murders, priestcrafts, whoredoms and/or secret combinations in the last days- and I am grateful that I don’t do those things, and that I am better, nominally, than they are. But in reality, I’m not. I have lied, frequently. I have deceived others. Thus I am a hypocrite. I know I have committed whoredoms in my mind. Not physically, but mentally.

   It’s hard for me to shake the feelings of superiority, because even though I know I’m doing OK right now, I have it better than a lot of other people in the world do. But, this is no cause for a feeling of smug superiority. On the contrary, I have to realize that my past and present sins make me just as unworthy and as in need of Help as the people who commit those heinous sins are.