The inverse power of praise...

This is a long article, but really a good one, in my estimation.

The article talks about the dangers of praising either normal or mediocre behavior repeatedly, and the pitfalls of making things too easy for children.

I thought this was a good article because I don't subscribe to the notion that everyone is equal. I think that everyone has things that they are good at. But just because they aren't good at something doesn't make them stupid, just not as good as someone else is at that particular skill.

Case in point: I failed Algebra in 8th grade. Bombed miserably. Sucked it up. Whatever euphemism you care to say, I did it. But, I tried my hardest. Mom and dad were patient, helped me study, and knew I was trying my hardest. They helped me, and didn't shield me from the consequences (poor grades). They also helped hold me responsible for my actions. The next year I passed with a 104%. I think it was because I was allowed to fail, held responsible for that failure, and was told clearly what the expectations were. Thus, I tried harder. No one told me "It's OK if you don't do well. You can't be good at everything. It must be the teacher's fault you aren't getting it. You're smart, even if you don't get this."

Children need to be held responsible for thier actions, specifically praised for the good things they DO, and not just for doing what is expected. That doesn't mean that we can't thank them for doing the normal things...Just don't make it sound like they have saved the world when all they have done is wash their hands or said "thank you".

I think my responsibility is to encourage my children, when they come, to do their best, even if it is difficult at first. If this entails a little pushing and discomfort, then so be it. I f iot entails an investment of time from em, so be it. Heavenly Father doesn't want us to be mediocre, and setting realistic goals and holding others responsible is all " part and parcel, the whole genie gig. PHENOMENAL, COSMIC POWER..." Sorry. It's all part of the Plan.

Praise behavior that is outside of normal, but thank for normal actions.

Besides, no one really gets anywhere eternally when everything is either easy or they aren't challenged.

I suppose I can understand the desire to shield children from hard things, but at what point does it do them a dis-service, and weaken their desire to learn or get better?

The only way that someone else is equal to me is the love that Heavenly Father has for both of us. Everybody has weaknesses they need to work on. So, let the little ones work through their challenges. Hold them responsible, help them do their best, but don't deprive them of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes/failures.

Again, this is my opinion. Take it or leave it.