Honestly...

No links today...

I've come to the conclusion that people don't like honesty, even my own family(immediate and -in-law's). Most people proclaim honesty to be one of the pillars of civilization, and bemoan the fact that there is not enough of it in the world. Yet, if a person is honest to someone else, the reciever is offended and angry 99% of the time. I hate people who pay lip-service, and thats all.

Now I can understand that most people have a hard time taking criticism. I am one of them. I'm trying to do better. But, at what point do we stop being honest with ourselves and with others because we are afraid of hurting their feelings? Don't the ones we love deserve to know when they have hurt our feelings?

Are my feelings less important than theirs?

Should I stomp down on my feelings because I am afraid of hurting their feelings?

Apparently so, as even my own family has gotten upset with me on occasion for expressing my feelings truthfully. Josh has blown up at me on more than one occasion. Mom has, and Dad has too. Why is honesty so difficult for others to accept?

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that my family has been taught the same things that I have, and proclaims to cherish honesty and open communication. Yet when I communicate about how I feel, even in an imperfect manner which is the best I can do, the reaction is anger and hostility.

No one likes to be told that they hurt someone else, but to compound the problem by getting upset really makes it worse.

Don't tell me how I SHOULD feel. Who are you to tell me how I should feel, huh? Sympathize with me. Tell me that you are sorry and will try to do better. That's all I ask.

If I've done something to hurt you, tell me, and I'll do my best to say I'm sorry and to reciprocate.

And if you claim to want open communication, be aware that you are not perfect, even if you are a parent, and that that openness entails a certain amount of negative feedback. And also be aware that getting angry only facilitates the destruction of communication.

What a freakin' crock of crap. This upsets me so much I deliberately have ommitted the obscenities I had run through my mind as I was typing all of this. Rest assured, though, that they are there.

Now, on to the real issue: I want to go to a LAN tonight with my brothers-in-law and play computer games. The thing is that Aaron's girlfriend Melissa is loud-mouthed, obnoxious, and very full of herself, and she's sure to be there tonight. I don't want to be there if she's there. But, I also want to play.

Hence the dilemma. The rhetorical question before the court: Do I stuff my feelings and go play anyway? Do I avoid the situation? I know I can't be honest to any of these people(DeVon, Marie, Melissa, Aaron, Josh. Relationship to Jordan: father-, step-mother-, sister-, and 2 brothers-in-law), as they will explode just like my brother Josh.

I hate this feeling, knowing that it is an exercise in futility to be honest with most of my family.

Ask yourself: Do I want others to be honest with me, or do I want to hear some myself-serving BS from them? Which do I really want?