Mon 12Jan09 – Alma 38.5 ‘And now my son, I would that ye should remember that as much as you shall put trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.’ I know that this is a true scripture; every time I have prayed for help in pushing temptations out of my mind, they go away. Every time. ‘verse 14 – Do not say: O God, I thank Thee that I am better than my bretheren; but rather say : O Lord, forgive my unworthiness, and remember my bretheren in mercy- yea acknowledge your unworthiness before God at all times.’ Another true scripture. Are we not all dependent upon the Lord for all that we are and have? Am I any better, any less of a sinner, than someone else I may know? Don’t my sins keep me as far from the Heavenly Presence as theirs do? And while I know God loves all of His children, He is definitely pleased with the behavior of some more than others’. I don’t have to wallow in my unworthiness, nor be saddened by it. However, I must always be aware that I need to choose correct things, always seeking for Christ’s will, and that I will always be, as long as I am mortal (and probably a long time after that!), imperfect, and a sinner. Realizing that, I further realize my dependence upon His Atonement, His forgiveness and His mercy. Those 3 things are the only way I’m going to be able to become who He wants me to be.

 

Sun 11Jan09 – I taught 2 lessons today, 1 for Sunday school, and in Priesthood. Class participation certainly makes it easier to teach, but 14 yr. olds don’t seem to participate much. Thinking back 17 years, I thought I participated more than others, but I certainly wasn’t very confident about it. I remember when I came home from Argentina, Josh and Ryan Charles called me ‘the Human Answer’, because I would answer so much in church classes. I wonder if Josh answers more now that he is on his own and an RM... Alma 37.46 ‘O my son, let us not be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so it was for our fathers; for so it was prepared for them, that if they would look they might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever.’ The way is easy for me, at least in theory. I have only to choose to do correct things, to give my will to the Father. Simple, but really, really hard in application. The other part that is easy is that I have had the gospel with me all the time. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t had true knowledge about spiritual things. As such, I tend to become complacent/slothful, because of the easiness of the way.

   ‘Avoidance is not deliverance.’ (workbook, p26)  It is not a permanent end to a conflict. It is not a resolution to a problem. It only means that we go out of our way to get past a problem temporarily. To be delivered from our problems/addictions/complaints is something that no mortal person had the capability of. I know that it’s useless for me to try and deliver myself. It hasn’t worked before, and it definitely won’t work in the future. I can’t rely on myself to get better.

 

Thurs 8Jan09 – Alma 37.34 ‘Teach them to never be weary of good works, but to be meek and lowly of heart; for such shall find rest to their souls.’ I notice that it doesn’t say that we won’t be weary, but that our souls will rest, eventually. Serving others is, I think (even though I’m not too good at it), the quickest way to becoming Christ-like that one can find. If a person can cultivate a delight in helping and prospering others, then life becomes so much easier, I would think. And I’m pretty sure that that delight doesn’t fully grow until it is asked/prayed for.

   Ether 12.27 ‘And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness... For if they will humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.’ It’s seems a bit difficult to realize that the Lord won’t make fun of me if I come to Him and bring all of my weaknesses, trials, complaints and addictions with me. Lesser people might, but since He is the righteous Judge, He knows how to help me. As a matter of fact, He wants everyone to humble themselves, and come in frequent, prayerful supplication to Him in order to find out how He can best help us. I think that oftentimes I pay lip service to the Lord, deluding myself into thinking that since I know what my weaknesses are (and who of us doesn’t?), He must already be aware of them. And since He is aware of them, why doesn’t He help me with them? C’mon, Lord! Help-me-out-with-these-things-that-I-know-I-need-to-fix, but-haven’t- humbled-myself-enough-to-prayerfullyand-sincerely-ask-for-help-with. Remember, Divine help only comes to those who truly humble themselves, and the Lord knows if I am humble when I ask. Also, I can’t fix those addictions/complaints/trials/weaknesses myself. Only He can.

 

Time for something different...

I thought that I would try and post from my journal entries, editing out anything I deem too personal to be seen by the masses (all 4 of you  :D) I do this so I can share about how I am doing, some insights I have had, and because I seem to be unable to post about anything mundane anymore. Let me know if you have any insights to share, if you would please, because I need all of the help I can get. Any references to a Workbook are from Colleen Harrison’s inestimable book He Did Deliver Me From Bondage. I’m pretty sure it’s available @ Deseret Book, and definitely from LDS Addiction Recovery Services. Here goes...

   Wed 7Jan09 – Alma 36.3 ‘...for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.’ I know that this is true. I think I have always known it is true. Why haven’t I followed it, then? I think I have gotten tired of fighting against my temptations/addictions. When I am the only one fighting, being only mortal, I get tired real quick. However, if I will exercise my faith to call upon the Father to help me, He doesn’t get tired. I only have to exercise my agency to call upon Him, and He will help me. He won’t not help, because He has said He will help all those who call upon Him.  

   Why do bad things happen to good people/Why did God let this happen? This question frustrates me because it paints God as some sort of mean person who sends down calamities upon His children just for fun. That, or God is somehow supposed to shield us from anything bad ever happening to us. Perhaps the error stems from having an incorrect perception of the purpose of life. The purpose is to gain experiences so we can become both more Christ-like, and become more like the Father. There is no other way. And while I feel frustrated that people ask such an ignorant question, I also feel pity for them because they obviously don’t understand why bad things have to happen to everyone. The other thing, in conjunction with this, is the question ‘What do I need to learn/know from this experience?’

   Mosiah 2.21 ‘...I say that if ye should serve Him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.’ “The truth- that we can’t work our way to worthiness...” (Workbook,  22) I can’t perfect my self to Heaven. Even if could come close, which is obviously impossible (for me), Christ’s grace and mercy are still necessary to celestialize me. There is no other way. That doesn’t mean that I should stop doing good things, but I have to realize that the only thing I can do is seek after Their will. They want me to help and serve others, and to perfect myself, but first realizing that my power to do so is contingent upon my asking for Their help. The only thing They ask is that I give my agency to them, which is the only thing I have to give.

 

Well, I was gonna say that I have nothing to post about...

...and then I saw what my brother Josh had emailed me today. Thanks, Josh.

   First is the Millennium Falcon sled.

   Second is the Dark Hub of the Sith. I’m not sure that it’s worth $60 bucks, but that does look cool. ThinkGeek always has cheesy things to say/write, but it made me laugh.

   Third, I think the unique lightsaber would be an excellent gift for the aspiring Sith Lord you know. None of this plastic, telescoping-blade crap; custom made, and even crafted to duel with, this screams “...an elegant weapon, from a more civilized age.” If you think $140 is worth it, pick one up. Be warned, there are no sound effects with this, but that is a minor trade-off.

 

Merry Christmas to all of you. Be safe and be happy!

Something funny I saw, and can relate to...

From here... about the Real-Time Strategy game Supreme Commander -

  

‘Nothing says "It's too late to be playing" like building a Nuke Eliminator and not putting any missiles in it.

"Strategic launch detected."
"Thank God I built that anti-nuke launcher.
Wait a minute, I don't remember...
Son of a bi(CRISPY)"’

 

This made me laugh a lot. My situation was that I had built my nuke eliminator, and was 1 minute too late in starting my missile build. I got crispied also.

 

What do all of you/us think of DRM in games?

   DRM stands for Digital Rights Management, and is a way for game publishers to control, notionally anyway, what happens to their creation and to fight piracy. For example, EAGames released a game called ‘Spore’ last month, and users were limited to being able to install the game only 5 times. Ever. If they had a hard drive failure, or had to reformat, or some other catastrophe more than 5 times, then their limit would be reached, and then would have to call EA tech support and plead their case to get the game reactivated.

   Nominally these draconian measures are put in place to stop, or impede, piracy of intellectual property. This is supposed to make it more difficult for people to illegally download the game off of a program like BitTorrent. In reality, the DRM gets cracked either before the actual release of the game, or immediately after. Therefore, the DRM is rendered useless, except for those who decide to follow it.

   Ultimately, the ones who get hosed on this deal are the gamers, like me, who pay good money to be able to play the games. There are games that I have that are 10+ years old that I still play (Dune2). If, in 10 years I want to play my copy of Command & Conquer 3 and I have passed my 3-install limit, and EA is no longer around, what do I do? Maybe EA will still be around, but game developers change on a seemingly constant basis. What happens to the people who paid money to get the game?

   I don’t support illegal downloads. I don’t participate in it. Don’t break the law.

   In this instance, however, I believe I will buy whatever copy of a game that I want, like ‘Spore’, and then download a non-DRM copy to install and then play. Then I am legally playing my game, and can bypass their ineffective and useless DRM. Then I win, and so does the publisher.

   While you may not agree with me, I’d like to know what those of you who read this blog think of DRM and its application.

 

Umm, if it says it's from Nigeria...

   ...delete it, and forget about it!

   This poor woman, now poor because of her gullibility and overwhelming sense of greed, got suckered by the most well known email scam in the world. She sent over $400k to the scammers, who are probably still giving each other high-fives and chortling with glee at people’s stupidity.

   The worst part is that other people told/asked her to stop, and she decided not to.

   I just sit here, shaking my head and chuckle to myself. I don’t think I can do anything else. Yes, I am a bad person for laughing at other people’s misery. However, if people tell you to stop doing something, and they are knowledgeable enough to do so, then if you don’t...you bring it upon yourself.

 

   The new computer is up and running, and is currently being stress tested to see if everything works. I’ll get pics of it, all done up, in a while.

   Your link for today is about being rude.

   Yeah, I know it’s from Oprah, but it’s a good article.

   Basically, rudeness stems from a lack of respect towards other people. Everyone has been rude at least once in their lives. Most people are rude because they are either selfish or stressed out. In my opinion, there is never any justification for poor behavior, ever. I know that the times I have been rude, I was also being selfish. I had/have no excuse. I have reasons, but they are pretty lame when analyzed by any sort of rational standard.

   The short version is: treat other people in a manner with which you would want to be treated. Don’t be mean. But, if you have to stand up for yourself, do so in a way that is firm and unyielding, but don’t be mean.

The computer...

   All of my new computer stuff showed up yesterday, and I started the laborious task of getting it all together in to a working unit. You wouldn’t know it by looking on the outside, but there is a lot of effort that goes in to making a computer work; besides all the work to make the separate components, the last task is getting them all to work at the same time.

   I’ll take some pictures so that you are able to see the scope, grandeur and mess that goes in to making your own PC. It may take a while to upload them, but I’ll try.

   Other than that, there isn’t too much else that is vying for my attention right now.

   ...Except for my anniversary, which is tomorrow. It’s hard to believe that we have been married for 5 years now. I don’t know why Valerie puts up with me, as I screw up so often. I am grateful for her kindness towards me, and her laughter. I am glad she loves me, and I know that I am blessed because of it. She deserves better than I can give her...but I try.

   I love you, my precious treasure.

  

A busy weekend, part 2...

I also took 3 hours on Newegg.com to put together a new PC for myself, which is currently un-ordered, for ~$1850. I still need to get the last $350 saved, so I might not have a new PC until the new year, but at least I have a definite idea of what I want, and how much it’s going to cost. It’s sweet. I’m going to see if I can link it so you can see it too.

   Also, a link to a webcomic I find hilariously funny: here. It is tangentially related to my getting a new PC, as it will have Vista on it.

   No link for my projected PC, but I think I was able to post it on the blog. I’ll have to see if it made it when I get home.;

A busy weekend...

   I had to reformat my computer on Friday because some of the System32 drivers had become corrupted and had, in turn, corrupted other files. That took at least 4 hours to get Windows back on and updated. Add in programs, restoring the correct backups and such, and that took most of the day.

   Saturday was errand/shopping day, which is always busy.

   Sunday was OK, especially since I didn’t have to go to work. But, I had forgotten to reload the drivers for the printer, and so we didn’t make it in time for Sacrament mtg., since Val needed something printed out for her calling. That and the printer decided to start acting up and not print correctly.

   Yesterday was Val’s birthday. Her cake was very yummy. We did some fun things, had a good vegan Italian meal at a downtown SLC restaurant, went home and played Super Smash Bros. on the ‘cube.

 

I suppose that it doesn’t seem like a lot when it’s written out, but the computer took all of Friday to get back. By the way, Windows takes forever to update. Maybe it’s just because my computer is old, but Service Pack 2 (SP2) took ~45 minutes to finally download, and that was at ~4 in the morning on Friday, when there is a minimum of network/internet traffic. Then it took another 30 minutes to install. Jeez, I guess next time I’ll have disks nearby with all of the SP’s on them.

Good day, bloggers!

   One thing before I get to what I have to say, I’d like to make an announcement: it’s Ben’s birthday today! Felicitous wishes of another year of life passed to you, cherished acquaintance. I’m sure he’d appreciate it if you contacted him in some way and wished him a happy birthday, but only if you mean it.

   Now, on to my topic for today.

   There seems to be a mathematical equation involved in everyday life. It affects me, you, everyone around you, those we interact with, etc. It is like the Matrix: it is all around us, penetrating everything. Here it is, first as an equation, then the explanation: f(O) = 1/M+K. The strength of an opinion is inversely proportional to the openness of a person’s mind and the amount of knowledge they have. In other words, stupid people (or people with very little seeming knowledge) have the strongest opinions, and evidence cannot sway them. (I hope I did the equation correctly. I’m sure someone will tell me if I didn’t.)

   There are people in my family, on which side I refuse to say, that are of the opinion that Valerie and I being vegan is an evil thing to do. We hear 3^rd person accounts, from reliable sources, that we are seen as ‘mentally deficient (my interpretation)’ or deluded, or weird. Of course, these same people won’t come and talk reasonably to us. No, they have to vehemently disavow and distance themselves from us in order to keep themselves...clean, somehow. If we make something to eat, inevitably the question arises ‘Is it vegan?’ If it is, they won’t have anything to do with it. Never mind that we have gone to great effort in order to make something suitable for EVERYONE, and not just the flesh-eaters. Nope, it is classed as trash and dismissed just as quickly.

  The infuriating part is that the people who hold these opinions are the most vocal in their disdain of anything different, i.e. they are the loud-mouths in the family. So, rather that others coming to Val or I with questions about veganism, they hear the blabber-mouth and decide that she is right. These people are a closed-minded lot, but extremely sure that all that they say and do is correct. There is no second chance for us to make yummy food for them in order to show them that they are mistaken that vegan food is better than lesser food., because they are staunch in their bastion of thought.

   It also doesn’t matter that I could quote scripture and verse to them in order to support my position; no, I learned in the mission field that fighting verbally with someone in order to prove a point is useless, at best. So, I am left with no other alternative except to blog-post, and simmer in silence.

   However, the people who are the most open-minded are the ones who are more educated, and have had opportunities to encounter situations that help them to see things from a different point of view. Seeing things from a different perspective is called consideration, isn’t it?

  My challenge to you who read this, and to myself, is to educate ourselves so we can be more understanding of people. Rather that making an immediate blanket dismissal of something, find out first what the motivations are for the behavior, then see the effects of the behavior, and then judge accordingly. After all, ‘By their works shall ye know them’.

 

   OK, a few things to link today.

   On a sad, depressing note: Richard Wright, keyboardist for Pink Floyd died yesterday from cancer.  Son of your mother!!!!! He was only 65?!?!?!?! GAAAH! I honestly sat here for 5 minutes, at work, and did nothing as I tried to digest that he was gone. In my heart I hoped that the Floyd would tour one more time. Now it won’t happen.

   Second thing is a link that Ben sent to me about the effect of eating rotting, decaying flesh on the environment and global warming. Here it is.

   I will echo Ben’s sentiment when I say “DO IT BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!!!!”

   Now I will propose something to reduce the amount of greenhouse gasses being expelled that is so shocking in its simplicity that it will confound, stymie and otherwise make your cognitive functions grind to a smoking, shuddering, wheezing halt: we make people pay full price for the carcasses they consume. So, no government subsidies to animal torturers, no water benefits, no tax breaks, no anti-defamation laws (which by the way are illegal. What happened to the first amendment? Free speech and all that...). People pay the full price for their putrefying skin and muscle. If they want it, they can pay for it.

   If they had to do that, there would be no more meat industry, because the cost would rise so high that it would be unattainable to anyone, even Bill Gates. Know why? Because if you factor in the cost of land that has been destroyed by grazing, and the water pollution caused by the feces (ßI changed that word from what I had there previously. You should be proud of me for my restraint.) of cattle being hosed in to our waterways, and the air pollution from the fossil fuels burned, and the methane from cow farts, there is no unreasonable price that could be set. I don’t know about you, but I like having clean air to breathe, and clean water to drink. Can you put a price on that last lungful of air you just inhaled? How about when you are thirsty, but all you could get is a glassful of tap water that has fecal particulates and bovine antibiotics in it? Sounds great, doesn’t it?

   If they want it, they can pay for it. Oh, the cost is priceless? I guess you won’t get your burger then, will you?

   Well, here is an update for all of you blog-readers out there:

   I now work from 5PM until whenever, so I don’t have a lot of time to post anymore. It’s very frustrating to see or read things and have neither the time nor the inclination to write a scathing, rage-filled diatribe. I also don’t want to just post a link to something and say “This sucks and it really makes me mad...” I want to do justice to the topic I choose. It also bites that I can’t post pictures from work. *blah*

   Now, it is time to choose a suitable topic for today...

   Ah yes...

   “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...”

   The Large Hadron Collider goes online today. True, it is only starting to send a hyper-accelerated beam of particles in one direction. Soon it will be creating 2 or more streams in opposite directions and then colliding them to study Planck/quantum events and leftovers...

   "I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit that the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is extremely unlikely, I remain uncomfortable with the---"
   "Gordon doesn't need to hear this. He's a highly trained professional. We have assured the Administrator that nothing will go wrong."
   ...
   I think I’ll keep my aluminum T-ball bat close at hand just in case they open up an inter-dimensional portal and the headcrabs (from the game Half-Life, where the above quote is from. That quote makes me smile, because I know what happened after...) or the legions of Hell (Doom) come spewing forth. Maybe right now would be a good time to stock up on semi-auto rifles and powerful handguns...Food and water also...

I'm glad I was going to work at 4 this afternoon...

...instead of coming home. A 210k pound tank shifted as it was being transported on a semi, and all NB I-15 was closed.

  And boy did it look nasty. Supposedly the freeway will also have to be repaired since it wasn’t designed to handle that much weight at one place. The only other thing I can think is that it was a very good thing that it didn’t fall off when it was on one of the 2 overpasses there in NSL. That would have sucked even more.

This story is just a bit too close for my comfort...

...fake bomb threat at Dick’s Market in Centerville.

    I can’t count the number of times that Val and I have walked to this store. It’s 1 mile from our house. We also pass by it every Saturday to go shopping.

   Why do people think it is funny to do stupid things like this? Do they have nothing better to do with their time than call in fake bomb threats? Why not go read a book, play a video game, or be gainfully employed somewhere? Instead, you’ll probably pollute further the gene pool that already is in dire need of Clorox.

   One last note: whoever did it, way to keep an eye out for those security cameras, retard.

Ah, humility and weakness...

Jacob 4:7 “Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things.”

   The only way that we can ever get to be like Jesus and Heavenly Father is through submitting our wills to Theirs. They will not change anyone; indeed They cannot. But if I will make the conscious decision to let Them make me what They desire, They will. It’s really that difficult and simple. In order to gain the Celestial Kingdom, I must become godly myself. But the only way to do that is not through my efforts alone, but in tandem with the enabling power of the Lord. Grace works to save us, not only at the end of our efforts (after all we can do), but during our efforts to make ourselves better. If we try to make ourselves better by ourselves, we fail. Always. Every time. But if we ask for the help of God along with our efforts, which is a gift of grace to us, then we progress. It may not seem lioke a big distinction to you, but it makes every difference to me.

   You see, I have come to realize, again, that my efforts to do better against my shortcomings and my addictions are ultimately futile, because my strength of will, although a bit considerable, is ultimately finite. Eventually, I will fail. But Jesus never fails. Therefore, if I rely on Him, then I can’t lose. The only way I can is if I do nothing.

 

Also Jacob 5:22 “And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him: Counsel me not; I knew that it was a poor spot of ground; wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit.

   The Lord plants where He thinks is the best, not according to what others think. I may be a poor spot of ground now, or have been in the past; but as the Lord nourishes me, I can be fruitful. I just need time and patience. (True, later on that piece of ground brings up bad fruit, but eventually it gives good fruit. It just takes work and patience.)

Keep your eye on the ball, aim for the target...

...keep your focus on the mark.

   I’ll use the middle part of verse 14:”Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall.”

   It’s easy to lose sight of our goals, isn’t it? It’s very easy, unless our habits are in line with them. How fortunate a person is whose doesn’t have to re-evaluate very often their course or progress towards their goal.

   I have found for myself that I will be going along, quite nicely, along my chosen path, when I am suddenly/not-suddenly-at-all confronted with a choice that is not at all in line with my goals. Then I have to stop and think about where I am at that point in time, and ask a ‘why did that choice come to me right now?’ sort of question. Then, invariably, I realize that my path has been a deviated course from where I thought I had wanted to go. I wanted to be somewhere else, but I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and what my choices and habits were leading me. It’s like I had finally woken up to where I was and the poor choices that I had made in order to get to that point.

  I suppose the point to all of this is that I need to make better, consistent choices in order to make better habits for myself, so that I don’t need to keep evaluating whether or not what I am choosing to do is the right thing to do.

 

If your child is obese...

...the stop feeding them crap for food!

   The American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that children at risk for obesity and/or heart disease be given cholesterol-reducing drugs in order to lower their risk. These children wouldn’t have these problems if they were fed good food, and not what necessarily tasted good.

   I have a news flash for all of ya: Stop your intake of cholesterol, and let the body create its own. Low-fat milk is not the answer, because the fat quantity is based as a percentage of weight. So, that 2% milk you think is so great? Well, that ‘2%’ is the percentage of fat to weight, not calories. One-fiftieth of that glass of pus-ridden ‘beverage’ you are drinking is fat. Mmmmmm. Yummy! If you don’t believe me, go to milksucks.com. Or perhaps you could read a report done by 3^rd party scientists whose study isn’t paid for by the United Dairy Council.

   Do yourself a favor, and avoid any side-effects from these unnecessary drugs that are trying to be foisted upon your children: be vegan, and cut your cholesterol intake to 0%. That’s right, to nothing! Eat good food that is also good for you. You will still get saturated fat, but no cholesterol.

   I can’t think of anything more horrid than giving a 3 year-old child some Plavix in order to reduce their LDL count. Hello?!?!?! You are the parent! Be responsible for what you feed your child!!!!

   Finally, if you are what you eat, what are you? Be honest...